Edition #7
Flames and Storms
Sanobar Sabah
Edited by Faustas Norvaisa
I’m sorry, I am too much
I talk too much
I laugh too much
I cry too much
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I think too much
I feel too much
I love too much; I hurt too much
I desire too much
I ask for too much
I am too much
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I’m sorry, I cry too much as I’ve swallowed storms of grief for centuries within me.
I laugh too much as the oceans of joy roar inside me, swirling and dancing – they’ve only witnessed silence for generations.
The happiness within me lifts my soul up to the seventh sky where you’ll find me doing a happy dance amongst bouncy clouds.
But, when I hurt, I hurt like someone’s just dug sharply and suddenly into my heart, snatching it out of my chest; shredding it into smithereens.
I hurt badly - deep and profound.
I’m sorry I talk too much. There are untold stories buried inside me screaming to be heard.
I love too much as well. I don’t know any better, really. I love fiercely with all my being – I’m sorry, I don’t do half love stories.
I’m sorry I don’t feel ashamed of my fiery desires – the desire to love and be loved, the desire to flourish, the desire for mad intimacy, the desire to make a difference and leave the world around me in a better place I found it…
I’m as celestial as God wanted me to be - embodying fire, water, earth and air - all lovingly, intricately wrapped around me.
I’m sorry I’m no longer nervous about taking up space. I’m tired of waiting for you to offer me what’s always been mine.
I’m colourful, I’m loud, I’m sensitive, I’m intense.
I’m done with being offered breadcrumbs in the name of love and respect.
I’m cosmic, I am my universe.
Yes…
I. Am. Too. Much.
But, I’m sorry…
But, no!
I’m not sorry. And, I won’t ever be.