From Me to You: A Love Letter to the Community

I was born in 1999. And yet the past few years were when I truly became Emma. Before, I was a mere possibility of my own potential. Stranger, welcome. Friend, good to see you here. Lover, this piece will make you believe.

Stranger, welcome.

Friend, good to see you here.

Lover, this piece will make you believe.

If you knew me a year ago, say goodbye. If you knew me two years ago, let it go. And if you knew me before already, forget it completely. I have never been as myself as I am now. In my mind and soul, there is the Emma before and the one now. They don’t even look the same. The light in their eyes sparkles differently.

The past three years have been about love, challenges and growth. The loss of people, of things, and of beliefs. But loss is gain. The opportunities and love that presented themselves to me after deep grief were marveling and I am grateful.

To the people who have helped me along this journey, hello darling. Thank you, let me hold you in my thoughts for a moment. Mentors, family, friends, lessons, I am grateful to the pain and joy and wisdom you have bestowed upon me.

To the people who have loved me, it is reciprocal. I have never been more full of love in my life. Let me hold your face gently, reverently in my thoughts.

And to the people who have tried to bring me down, look at me now. I was in flames, living through storm after storm trying to do right by everyone, only to realise that people like that will only ever take. My kindness and empathy would only push them further into their cruelty. So I made choices. Difficult, painful decisions to let them go, to give them a taste of their own medicine. Because in the end, I am a mama bear, who will do anything to protect her children.

Creating the Salon from scratch was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. Two years of non-stop work, not enough sleep and obsession. Obsessively believing in a vision that – when I told people – they would laugh at. And now here we are: we have a group of three pioneering projects merged together in less than two years, and we are only just beginning. The Salon, the Journal and the ACMC are proof that our community is stronger and more powerful than ever. From reaching readership worldwide on four continents at the Journal, to having diverse members at the Salon from more than thirty countries, to our partnership with the CEU (Central European University) with the ACMC which will take place this autumn in Vienna – I look around and I see potential. Potential in growth, in actually making an impact in the world, potential in you.

Nobody prepares you for the pain of change. For the prices you have to pay. The sacrifices, the storms you have to walk through, the flames that burn your skin while you do so, without break, constantly, for years. From a girl with no self-confidence or self-respect, a pathological people pleaser, I was surrounded by snakes whose abuse was constant and harrowing. Lovers, “friends”, strangers, people who were too close when they should’ve been very far.

To the people who have loved me, it is reciprocal. I have never been more full of love in my life. Let me hold your face gently, reverently in my thoughts.

To the young woman with strength, boundaries, the bearer of deep scars that will catapult her into greatness, she is now at liberty, happy days are here, she made it into the light. The past few years were times of immense growth, of intense therapy, of letting go of past ghosts and sorrows. Writing this piece feels cathartic, and my eyes are swollen with tears of relief and hope for the future. Everything is not perfect and pain is still there. But we are on the right path.

The past dried up in violent flames disguised as people. Lessons, corrections, redirections. Innocence and naiveté can only last so long – after a while, they become redundant of an echoey past and they shift into strength and rage. The hurt some people bestow on you will make it inevitably so.

Contemplation, sadness, the waiting game. Every once in a while, one has to stop, reevaluate their path and make certain tough, yet necessary decisions. But when one is completely alone, what can you do? I have been alone and lonely my whole life. And in my deep knowing, I understand this will likely never change. Accepting one’s strange vision of life is a moment of rupture from others, from those closest to you. They will question you, they will betray you, they will not see what you see: light. In this way, you are no longer of this world, yet you have never belonged more than now.

The Salon and the Journal are my first children. They have grown from babies to youngsters, soon to step into the chaotic, adventurous age of early teenagers and cause wonderous havoc in their environments. I am a proud mother of two, always holding hands with my partner(-in-crime), Dodo. I am not yet satisfied with how things are, but I am joyous that life was generous enough to bestow this gift upon me. The Salon and the Journal represent freedom, possibilities and a better world. Join the movement HERE.

The Salon was born when I was in flames. I was captured, living in a prison, screaming unbeknownst to myself. The Salon saved me. Then came the Journal which changed everything. And the ACMC, which, as I am writing this, brings prideful tears to my eyes. What a journey this has been, and what beautiful milestones still lie ahead.

During (unbearably) difficult moments, one of the many things I kept hearing from those closest to me has always been: ‘If anyone can do it, it’s you. You’re so strong, you’re going to get through this.’ True. And yet these past two years, I arrived at a point where strength was not enough anymore. I had to reevaluate my entire existence and ask myself: ‘is this how I want to live my life?’ The answer was crude and simple: no.

The past dried up in violent flames disguised as people. Lessons, corrections, redirections.

The growth that followed was shocking. The time within which I grew into the woman I am today, the progress I made in this very small time frame was powerful and fulfilling. I believe it showed that it was truly about time this shift took place within and therefore around me. I was like a phoenix rising from years of ashes. And my wings are now wide and strong. I am becoming. I am living my truth more and more everyday, unapologetically so.

Essentially, our world is filled with chaos. I don’t believe I need to elaborate on the pain and gravity that was brought about these past few years. We all feel it. My generation and our community without a doubt. And what lies ahead feels like an antagonistic, turbulent era fueled by animosity, angst, and ambivalence. Our job, our purpose, is to rebut these feelings and turn them, to the best of our abilities, into love and kindness.

One young girl had a dream. She has grown into a woman and with it, she sees her dream being shared with others. I cannot do this alone. I was never meant to. We are stronger, brighter, more powerful together.

Last year, I came to the realization that I was truly lonely. Trying to lead a big group of people while attempting to live a balanced life (and doing a Masters degree on top of it!) proved impossible. Truth to be told, I fell apart. Not meeting the expectations I set for myself and that I felt the community wanted me to meet, I had to take a step back and hole up. Suddenly, the long held, repressed rage that has been hiding inside of me burst open. I was in flames.

I was like a phoenix rising from years of ashes. And my wings are now wide and strong.

I am becoming.

This female rage that has been reigning inside of me like a screaming storm of lightning and thunder has leaked from its safe premises, my calm and usually polished countenance. It has transformed into flames so powerful and dangerous, that anyone in my way has experienced my woeful wrath. It is a testament that you can never truly tame the potential that lies within people.

The flames inside me now are those of passion and ambition. The storm inside of me still prevails, however. The hostility struggling deep within is that of my vision. Our vision. Communication is often scarce, difficult. People are busy, occupied. We cannot do this alone. When is sunshine coming? When will the applause finally arrive for all our hard work? When does ultimate happiness finally reach us? Our vision needs support, visibility, it needs more people to make it into the incredible potential it has.

Beat me, push me, blame me, hurt me. But you will never tame me. Burn the past, burn the pains, burn the illusions and my sinful ways. I am starving, give me light! Grief, sadness, the loss of the past, the loss of innocence. You’re begging the skies: “please don’t hurt me”, and they reply: “like a phoenix, you will rise, for the magic of pain is that of true transformation. Be proud (of your journey)”.

When the illusion comes off, at first it’s bright and the pain is raw. Then, slowly but surely, the coast becomes clear and full of hope. The light burns and blinds your eyes, and looking around, the people that have remained by your side, your sigh is deep with relief, you surrender. This is your family, you are home.

Beat me, push me, blame me, hurt me. But you will never tame me. Burn the past, burn the pains, burn the illusions and my sinful ways. I am starving, give me light!

My vision for the future is deep yet simple. Our world is filled with chaos and pain. For the past few years, I have strived to bring love and light into it, to ease the suffering. In light of this, here are the three main goals for the future: first of all, we see the talent and knowledge in you, in the pioneering youth, a unique knowledge with which we can build the world and a better future, together. Our purpose is to reach as many people as we can globally: are you partners in this? If so, click HERE.

Second, we want to build a thriving community, one where we can all help and support each other, one where we are family. The way you can back us is by joining us HERE.

Just as important is our ambition to make our projects financially sustainable. To this end, we need your support by joining in the building of our projects (join our committees HERE), and by joining our events (which you can do HERE). We are very proud of our next big event, the ACMC’s 6th Edition, to take place in Vienna September 27-29. Last but not least, our ultimate objective is to create a global community and organisation, one that rests on strong foundations of knowledge and creativity, and a steady, diverse network of people. To this end, we thank you for your presence and support. Let us join together and make the world a better place.

The light burns and blinds your eyes, and looking around, the people that have remained by sigh is deep with relief, you surrender. This is your family, you are home.

As we stand today, the Salon, the Journal and the ACMC have never been more vigorous. We are becoming, these projects are at last beginning to reach their potential. It is with you, dear reader, that these promises are conceivable. So, let us stand together and unite the pioneering voices of our generation to leave a lasting impact in the world. Communitas et incrementum sapientiae.

With my love,

Emma